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Seeking Change: Couples Counseling
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
- Lao Tzu
Relationships are at the heart of what it means to be human. Nothing affects our emotional life and sense of self more. Therefore, I feel working with a couple is a sacred responsibility and a gift of trust. It is from our relationships that we begin a deeper process of growth as individuals. Relationships call on us to mature in the ways of loving the other.
My work with couples is informed by Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy for Couples, Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples, the Gestalt Cycle of Experience, Nonviolent Communication, Contemplative Psychology, and the psychoanalytic theories of human development across the lifetime. Our work is designed to increase your ability to hold your partner's experience in mind, without losing touch with your own.
Our work together is a collaborative process. We will co-create a safe space to explore your relationship and the life you envision building together. Our focus will be on enhancing communication, understanding how past relationship experiences, particularly with our parents, influence our relationship style, and exploring the possibilities for intimacy and creativity in your relationship.
Contemplative Psychology describes that we relate with each other through three aspects of our experience: body, speech, and mind. Together, in a neutral, affirming, and safe space, we'll explore how you and your partner make contact in each of these aspects of embodied relationship.
Here are some examples of questions we might explore:
Body: What effect do you and your partner have on each other's bodies? Are you able to use your embodied mind to help regulate your partner's experience. How does your relationship support your physical needs for affection, and how to increase mutual intimacy and pleasure at the body level?
Speech: How do you and your partner use speech (or communication) to attune to each other's feelings and needs, and work out differences?
Mind: What effect do you and your partner have on each other's minds? How does your relationship lead to growing and thriving? What are you meant to learn from each other, about yourself as well as your partner?
How To Start
Generally, people email me to set up an initial consultation session. The consultation session is a time for us to meet and discuss your situation, think together about what type of treatment would likely benefit you, and make a plan about scheduling.
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